And people loooooove the lotto tix here. I care about your son's emotional health, the emotional damage he will suffer, when this emotional abuser of an ex tells his lies about you. Yeah, Vegas can be a skeezy place but I havent found it to be any worse than LA, Nashville, Cincinnati, New York, Seattle, Boston, or any of the other cities Ive been to. even though this event is in Las Vegas, XCorp still expects its employees to hold themselves to our high standard of professionalism, My team goes to DC every year for a conference and I always tell them something like, The conference schedule is packed and unfortunately were not going to have any time for sightseeing or tourism. Huh. Sure within reason. You know, because theyd been there for the last year and had witnessed all of it and hadnt just heard his side of the story through his rose-tinted glasses. http://www.thestranger.com/slog/2017/08/09/25333362/savage-love-letter-of-the-day-her-new-boyfriend-canceled-plans-to-see-a-friend-with-cancer. We're glad we did it to see it's totally do-able. That didnt make me feel better for the Letter Writer. Thats what I was thinking. To the letter writer, if your husband walked into a therapists office with Anonymous Posters comment and said, Thats what I want, the therapist would either be able to teach him that skill or refer him to someone who can. Him: Yeah, she does this every couple of months, and it never lasts. I just saw the news about the mass shooting in Vegas. Oh man, the broken-glass-on-the-kitchen-floor-for-a-month dude! You (both individually and as a family) need your income. People understand the environment and are very vigilant about what is going on. So thats what Ive been doing wrong all these years! Note however, I dont think this excuses the employees OR means that its wrong to have a corporate event in Vegas. Youre not asking for permissionyoure telling him this is what youve decided. Husband may be dealing with separation anxiety, and instead of communicating that, is using Las Vegas Same. Likewise, but I was in Hyattsville, Md. I used to travel 3 weeks out of the month from Wed-Sun for work and often traveled by myself to large cities as well as smaller locations and never felt unsafe. But also, this is pretty clearly a business and financial question. I dont want men to dismiss womens fears, but I have personally had more experience with the opposite men deciding to tell me why I cant/shouldnt do something adventurous. Entertainment loves to show affairs starting in the office, people lying about business trips when they have a whole nother family, etc. I ate at the bars of a few nice restaurants. You just have to stop a lot--especially if you EBF. Im guessing its because Vegas sounds like its all casinos and bars and drunk parties, and if I learned anything in college its that bars and drunk parties are teeming with predators. Milkshakes there are ON POINT. Well, thank heaven theyre not all drug dealers too. Haha! I am not fond of the recent uptick in stories like this or men and women who wont go on a business lunch alone because its with a member of the opposite sex. There are so many things that could be gong on here. Right now hes in Alaska shooting a documentary. . Theres a weird dichotomy with that place. That is not rational and that is not how business or marriages work. Its probably rooted in a sexist view and I dont know who hes talking to everyone objects to their partners going because thats insane. But please ask yourself if this is an isolated incident, or if there have been other times when your husband has expressed this kind of feeling when you go out with friends for dinner, is it less likely that youll be kidnapped somehow? The only time my husband would object to a business trip of this kind is if I had to fund it myself or if it was a conflict to another event on our calendar (wedding or family vacation). Yet he says he would not even go without me. We took turns driving and stopped whenever we needed to fill up with gas or have a break, and if LO started crying and needed to be fed, we'd stop then, too. About 3 months in (together 3 years now), I went for a very long walk, in a not-well-lit, bad sidewalks area, as I was used to doing. On a larger scale, I see a couple of concerning things here. Just stayed at a swanky suite in the Venetian with a view of the strip for $140/night. As sinful as it gets, I tell ya! So thank you for the comments. First, it doesnt workanxiety will inevitably find things to be anxious about, ultimatelyand second, its not reasonable or feasible to ask someone to do that. To expand a little bit on what Anita and others above have posited: Regardless of whether this is solely an artifact of having absorbed toxic masculinity, or an anxiety/perseverative/compulsive thoughts issue, or some combination thereof, my experience has been that successful treatment of such issues will likely involve at least some behavior change on the part of the OP, and the OP stands to gain a lot of helpful personal skills by being an active participant (as appropriate) in whatever mix of interpersonal, couples, or cognitive behavioral therapy that they find. If you leave it as a well go eventually and never book it, and also never talk about it, things are gonna get worse. And if you dont trust your spouse, why would you want to remain married to them? I thought my mom was the only one like this. Ive had several week-long business trips in CA the last few years and its a non-event. The touristy gloss. Yeah, I had a boyfriend in college who Id started dating after being part of the same friend group as him for a long time. 4. Who the hell lies about going on vacation with family while simultaneously depriving you of a partner, coparent, and also seeing your own family. I did business trips to the Middle East. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). Plus those casinos take forever to walk across and they are saturated in smoke, blech! This concern is not about risk of harm, it is about trust in your judgment. -OPs husband, probably. I dont know, maybe other people are able to work through this kind of thing, but I couldnt. Im surprised that you specify *rural* Saudi Arabia given that Saudi Arabia is one of the least egalitarian countries in the world, with virtually no freedom of religion. But where I was from, the vast majority of the people in the regionhundreds of thousands, not just a handfulaccepted these beliefs as reasonable. If someone tells my son, I am a thief, or. making sure your spouse is okay with big decisions that affect both of you isnt that unreasonable. I have anxiety, and so does my husband and this isnt really an anxiety reaction, but a control issue. As it were. Itll be a cold day in Hell before my husband allows/gives me permission to do anything. Yeah and Ill add that it makes the advice people are giving much less likely to be effective/heard/followed by the OP if people are attacking a man she presumably loves and finds reasonable outside of this situation. Long term I also agree with everyone elses recommendations for anxiety screening and counseling. Well, this might seem like an obvious question, but have you told him that you need him to stop talking to you about this? Ive only been to Vegas twice. I didnt have to take many work trips, being a teacher, but I did occasionally go to educational seminars. Irrational fears are just a normal part of life, especially in these days of social media and around-the-clock news coverage, but when they either start holding you back from doing things you want/need to do or start negatively affecting the people in your life, thats a sign youve stepped over the line of normal and should seek help finding that line again. I went to Vegas for work once. Sounds great. I was bottle feeding at the time and would simply feed as my SO drove as well as changed diapers at either gas stops or just quickly in the car versus making 30-45 min stops. So when my sister and her then-boyfriend said they were taking a trip there, my first thought was that they shouldnt go because tourists are always killed horribly in Vegas (or are sometimes raped or kidnapped). My mouth just kept falling wider and wider open. This is a man who is trying to actively sabotage her career. The timelines even fit perfectly. Unless therapy can move him beyond this pathetic lack of respect for either her or confidence in his own worth, this is a nightmare of a lifetime to contemplate. I have a friend that refuses to go to Vegas because he believes its the modern Sodom and Gomorrah. Yall need some marriage counseling. Usually these things build up over time and abusive relationships (even if not intentionally abusive even if the partner really does have anxiety or whatever and is not TRYING to be controlling!) We had screaming matches over girls night out or any activity that might throw me in the path of men. When I was a teen, she wouldnt even let me walk the dog around our boring, gated community if it was dark out. This is a pretty classic controlling partner move. So I get the safety concern. I did a few Vegas-y things, but mostly I found really interesting things to do while not working. If it's something you really want to do, then I'm sure you can make it work, but it won't be easy. Close Menu. You get attention, you often get attempts at comfort, sometimes you get a hug; these are all rewarding. She should get out while she can, even if she has children. I thought his friends were objecting to his stance and would even let their spouses go. It took getting out (and lots of tears, letting some of the love-roots pull out from my heart with time and distance, and lots of therapy) to realize that he really was some of those things and others he wasnt, but it was irrelevant because he was still hurting me. Pricey, but worth it! 402 views, 5 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 0 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Famosos: #TaniaRincn y su esposo iniciaron su amor con el pie izquierdo: su relacin no era perfecta. Its an incredibly effective manipulation technique. Im just going to drop in some ideas and some strategies that have worked for me. If his problem is that his marriage doesnt look the way a marriage is supposed to look (and lets get real here we absolutely do NOT have enough information to be as sure as you are) then a good marriage counselor can help him to readjust his notions. We arent gamblers either. Answer (1 of 11): I do not care why he does it! I have no idea. There are many issues at play here. either. This is none of his business and catering to his insecurities is not your responsibility. Also, in some (not all) work situations, it would be quite weird and out of step for someone to bring their spouse along. I asked three people: Me, myself, and I. And hiking! What is wrong with people? Even if you dont get fired or demoted, youre showing that you arent reliable to do normal business things, and youre missing out on opportunities to grow your career and to network etc. Maybe you call once a day in the evening to say hi, but otherwise tell him youre not going to be responding to messages, because youre busy with work. When all youre seeing is airports, shuttle buses, the hotel, and a conference room, everything kind of looks the same. I wonder if there are other circumstances in which he exhibits similar behavior. Even if he does have some kind of anxiety disorder, he needs to recognize that this behavior isnt reasonable in a relationship, and marriage counseling is a great way to work out problems in a relationship. He gets anxiety about it, but he doesnt try to stop me from going he knows it is part of my job. Ive actually been there and I agree its overplayed and that corporate concerns are more about flights and conference rooms but its weird to act like youve never heard this stereotype. Right!? My hunny is not a fan of me getting up at 4:30 and going running in the dark by myself. Living with someone like this for the rest of your life sounds like a real misery. I actually disagree. Its been a while, but the last time I went to Vegas, we went to a Cirque du Soleil show, did a lot of shoe shopping, and took a drive out to the hoover dam (and took a cool tour). The first time I visited Scotland (as an undergrad) I was on a school trip and we went to Orkney, in the far north. I knew that Counsling was the best step but I needed professional advice to confirm my thoughts. And absolutely do not let his anxiety limit your life. When I was in grad school my mom once had a fit that I was walking home from class at around 4:45 pm on a random Tuesday evening. You don't have to fake excitement about every little . That said, in order to see them, we either have to travel to see them or they have to travel to see us. Im sorry, Im not trying to be a jerk, but if you dont think theres anything unwholesome about prostitution (direct quote) I think you may be a cultural outlier.